“Running in Circles”
Submitted by Kyle Tinga
There are only so many places one can run when inside of a house and its four walls. You have the issue of occupied space, which is filled with the bric-a-brac of lived in life, as well as unoccupied space, which will soon be filled by the mass of other people. It wouldn’t be a problem if I was living in a smaller family, or if I wasn’t trying to stay healthy, but as I am neither of those things it’s become an area of heated discussion. There are six of us caged within, and none of us able to leave without the government’s permission.
The compromise we came to was subdividing the house for exercise, drawing the metaphorical lines so that we do not intersect. My mom exercises in her room with the aid of her Fitbit, the step count ticking ever upwards to the serene tones of Sanjay Gupta. My dad practices dribbling and shooting in the front of the house with a temporary hoop, coming back inside drenched in sweat and the smell of the outdoors. My brothers have laid claim to the stairs, and the sounds of their feet stomping along the wooden steps is always audible on my evening Discord calls with friends. My sister and I run along the corridor between rooms, starting at the same time and staying to the right, forever passing each other by a hair’s breadth.
I don’t know why we siblings run, although I can take a guess. My youngest brother loves sports and has so much boundless energy coming off him in waves that it needs to be released somehow. His older brother has always been conscientious of his fitness, and is probably the most disciplined of us four when it comes to health. My sister is relentless in her strength, and pushes on regardless of whatever circumstance faces her. As for me? I run to run away. I run to give myself a little corner of my mind where I can pretend to be alone. I have my own space, my own clarity, my own peace filled with nothing but Electric Dreams piped into my headphones and the sensation of my feet pounding against the floorboards.
But then I bump shoulders with my sister or nearly careen into a wall, and I’m reminded that I’m a hamster on a wheel. Here I am, trapped in a futile circle and struggling to break free. One day I’ll break the mechanism, get myself out, bathe in a little sunlight and appreciate how amazing it feels to see a limitless sky. Until then? I run.
Kyle Tinga is a Sustainable Transport Specialist with GET Philippines by day and a writer by night. She is a lover of travel, food, and stories both real and imagined.