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From Issue #4!

Johnson, Johnson–is it light? Feels like I haven’t seen daylight in forever.”

“Yes, sir. Morning is coming. It’s over.”

“The visitor?”

“Reports indicate the craft is in low orbit, on an exit trajectory. Broadcasting a final message before departing our planet.”

“But why? Why leave after coming so far?”

“Burn-out, sir. The visitor partied too hard. In the end the people of Earth–our people–were far more radical and righteous dudes.”

“More radical dudes. Hmm. I wonder–at what cost? The coastline cities are gone–the Midwest an irradiated husk. We haven’t heard from London in over twelve hours. Hard-partying, yes. But at what cost? Johnson? Johnson, can you hear me? Johnson….”

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The Story We Didn’t Accept

submitted with seventeen additional chapters

You may have heard rumors that Joss Whedon has submitted to Planet Scumm continuously since Scummy first opened the data-banks for contributions from earthlings.  Apparently, he believes only Scummy can understand the deepest and most intimate stories that lurk in his heart. Joss Whedon is now mailing full, hand-written manuscripts to the beleaguered team of editor-thralls under Scummy’s command. We don’t know how he got our addresses, but he sends individual copies to each of us and our families. He has ignored numerous requests to cut it out, back off, and has violated restraining orders.

Each new manuscript is another fresh hell with detailed drawings and deranged marginalia appearing and disappearing.  Scummy has therefore seen fit to end this torture in the most expedient way possible and ordered the editorial staff to just go ahead and publish Joss Wheedon’s mad ramblings in the hope that this will sate, rather than inflame, his desire for Scummy’s attention. 

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A Critical Reappraisal of- Oh, Hell, It’s “Leprechaun 4: In Space” Isn’t It?

Order via our bandcamp (crazy, I know): https://planetscumm.bandcamp.com

No one even likes this holiday

Planet Scumm is a science fiction zine. Leprechaun 4: In Space is the fourth film in the Leprechaun series. It’s the one in space. It’s a science fiction film. It’s tangentially related to St. Patrick’s Day. God has abandoned us.

Any questions? No? Fine.

Continue reading A Critical Reappraisal of- Oh, Hell, It’s “Leprechaun 4: In Space” Isn’t It?